Here I raise my Ebenezer
Oh boy, yall! I have stacked my walls so high with pride, productivity, busyness, checked off to-do lists, and the attitude of “I can do it all, I’ve got this,” that creates a structure of all-togetherness when in actuality things seem to have no structure at all, and daily life appears to be more of a just a huge balancing act.
I tell myself I’ve got this college thing down, this work schedule on lock, and the social scene memorized. I can keep up, I can keep going, keep running, and living life in fast-forward. I can manage a 15 hr class load, with a 15 hr work schedule juggling different tiresome and overworked athletes, accompanied with twirling practices twice a week while staying sync with 10 other girls. I can study for two tests and show up timely to those study groups throughout the week, all the while busting out three papers that are due this Monday. I can do it, right?
We all know how difficult it is to surrender and have someone or something else take control. Sometimes—-nope, all the time, I struggle with asking for help. I am too prideful to let others sense weakness and let flaws show in my she-has-it-all-together, she-knows-what-she’s-doing image. But oh man, how the big Guy will do anything to get my stubborn know-it-all attention. He knows my little Sarah ways all too well which is why in my overcommitted month known as October he places a few more plates on a stick for me to balance to show me that I don’t need to have it ALL together, hoping that I’ll rely on Him instead of my flesh.
So sometimes on a Sunday afternoon in a coffee shop “Come thou Fount of Every Blessing” comes on your Pandora station and you distract yourself to look up what exactly an Ebenezer is… What I found out was that in the beginning of the second verse of the familiar hymn, “here i raise my Ebenezer” is referring to 1 Samuel 7:12.
The chapter describes a series of battles between the Israelites and the Philistines. As a reminder of the great victory God gave to Israel, Samuel took a great stone and raised it as a memorial between Mizpeh and Shen. As he raised it he called the name of it Ebenezer, which in Hebrew means stone of help, saying, Hitherto hath the Lord helped us (1 Samuel 7:12). Whenever the Israelites looked at the stone, they would remember how God had helped them.
Overwhelmed with this week’s duties I half-heartedly raised my Ebenezer while Sarah of smallest faith being far from expectant of anything from Divine favor. But oh how He was quick to answer, heal, and relieve this Monday. I get to breathe out a big sigh because my 10 am is cancelled on Wednesday AND Friday and I found a study group that actually fits into my schedule so I don’t have to prepare for this daunting midterm with my own help. We are quick to let our selfishness and our know-it-all-ness and our picture-perfect-put-togetherness get in the way of asking for help or relying on others to give us a hand. Even in our most feeble attempts, when we raise our Ebenezer with a shaky bent arm and clenched tight fist, He runs to meet us where ever we are. So if your pride is too pristine try puncturing it just enough to let your Ebenezer poke through and see what happens.
Come Thou Fount Of Blessing by Kings Kaleidoscope check em out and give it a listen.